Have you ever thought, “If I could just get out of my own way I could make some progress?” I am sure many of us have felt like we were our own worst enemies more than we would like to take credit for. When it comes to our marriage, what are the traps that keep us from growing closer to our wives? Here are 6 ways husbands screw up intimacy in their marriage.

  1. Their Wife Hurt Them In the Past – Somewhere in the past something happened where their wife did something that hurt them and they can’t get past that. It may have been something small or even could have been something major. They should have forgiven their wife by now, and they have tried to pull out that nail that keeps holding that stuff on, but they just can’t. They are going to give up having a closer relationship with their wives to protect an old wound from resurfacing.
  2. Pride Gets In the Way – Often times we get a little bit too comfortable to let down our guard and find closer intimacy with our wife. We sit back and convince ourselves that we aren’t going to take the first step in opening up. We also try to convince ourselves that we don’t need a better relationship with our wife. We are too cool to let on that we need that connection with our wife.
  3. We Get Narrow-Minded – Sometimes we get this mindset that I am not going to try to enhance my marriage unless my wife approaches me in the correct way. The correct way being some indescribable path that you do not even understand. We put up unrealistic walls up that promise failure.
  4. Guilty as Charged – Husbands are good at messing up. One of the aftermaths of messing up is facing up to the guilt. If we are feeling guilty because we did something that hurt our wife’s feelings, we limit how close we are to our wives because we do not want to hurt them again. Somehow, being distant seems like a better protection plan than communication and openness.
  5. We Get Too Busy – We get too busy to get closer to our wives. We schedule ourselves to the point that we are exhausted with work, family, school, church, and play that when we finally get a chance to grow with our wife we have nothing left to give or we do not have time for it.
  6. We Get Selfish – Too often, we fear what we might have to give up finding intimacy with our wife. We should really focus on what we have to gain if we try to build our marriage.

Whenever, the question is how it affects me and not how it affects us, we are heading down screw up avenue. True intimacy in our marriage is going to only come when we lay down our 6 traps and totally be a servant to our wife’s heart.