As many of you know, my wife authors the Peaceful Wife blog. Over the last couple of years she has been working on a book that would help women examine if they are living as a Godly wife and explore practical ways that they can transform their marriage and their walk with Christ. The Peaceful Wife book has just been published by Kregel Publications and is available at most online booksellers. I am a bit biased I know, but I wish my wife had the resources that the the book offers when she was going through the process of becoming a peaceful wife. As she went through the process she studied over 30 books and kept saying that she wished that there was a book that not only explained about love and respect in marriage but how a wife can live that in her everyday life. She believes her book offers insight that took her years to figure out that should decrease the amount of time it takes for a wife beginning this journey to have a more fruitful marriage.
It is tricky to say a husband should buy this book for his wife. The book will be of no value unless a wife is willing to be open to exploring ways that she can be a better wife for her husband. If you think your wife would be willing to give the book a try I encourage you to purchase one.
Occasionally, she will send me a message for husbands that she feels is important for a husband to hear. I think you will be able to see from her post what the peaceful wife journey is.
A word to husbands:
I know that many husbands feel disrespected at home and that this is such a painful thing – as painful for a man as it would be for a wife to feel unloved.
I do want to encourage husbands that most wives don’t purposely try to disrespect their husbands. Many of us have been marinating in this culture and have absorbed ideas about marriage, masculinity, and femininity that are destructive and we may not even realize that the “little” things we are doing would feel so big to our husbands. Disrespect for men has become very “normal” – to the point that many women don’t even see and hear it in themselves or others.
When wives do begin to wake up to respect and disrespect – it is not usually an instant light switch thing. It is usually a very long process of learning to understand God, to submit fully to Christ as Lord, to recognize and trash worldly ideas, to study and seek to embrace God’s wisdom, truth, and His design. This is really the process of sanctification in a believer’s life. For a wife to learn to understand her particular husband specifically, and for her to learn to become fluent in the masculine language of respect and honor – takes time. I am still learning and have thousands of miles to go on this journey myself. I will always be learning every day for the rest of my life.
If a woman cannot fully trust Jesus and doesn’t know how to reverence Him and submit to Him – that is where she needs to start. As she learns to trust God, who is perfect, and as she learns to submit to Christ as Lord – she can have the power she needs from His Spirit to allow Him to change her and empower her to become more and more the woman and wife He calls her to be. The same would be true for husbands seeking to become godly husbands. When things are right between a husband and Jesus, He empowers that man to be the husband He calls him to be.
Ultimately, this whole journey is about each of us and our walk with Christ. When things are right with Him, He enables us to make things right – as far as it depends on us, at least – with others.