We last looked at the relationship of salvation to our sexuality. Today, we will finish our look at God’s design for sexuality by looking at how we can apply the Gospel to our sexuality.
Once again, I want to state that most of this material will be coming from a Secret Church on Family, Marriage, Sex, and the Gospel by David Platt from 2011. I highly recommend that if you want to know more about this topic that you visit www.radical.net where video streams and other materials are available for download. Additionally, I have found most of David Platt’s work to be extremely grounded on the Word and without a lot of fluff.
Man’s Role: Leadership
We will look at how we can apply the Gospel to our sexuality in much the same we have before by looking at how this pertains to men, first, followed by how this pertains to women. For men, we can simply say that man’s role is to provide leadership. David Platt describes this as, “men should initiate humble, hard-working leadership.”
“A Christian man is obligated to lead his family to the best of his ability … If his family has purchased too many items on credit, then the financial crunch is ultimately his fault. If the family never reads the Bible or seldom goes to church on Sunday, God holds the man to blame. If the children are disrespectful and disobedient, the primary responsibility lies with the father … not his wife … In my view, America’s greatest need is for husbands to begin guiding their families, rather than pouring every physical and emotional resource into the mere acquisition of money.” –James Dobson
Leadership….In Spiritual Devotion
Men should take the leadership role in spiritual devotion. Prepare yourself through Bible study and devotion. Be the example in taking your family to church and providing spiritual leadership in the home.
Leadership…In Marital Duties
Men should take the leadership role in marital duties. Men should look for ways to improve their marriage by looking for ways to better love their wife. For single guys, growing up is not something you should wait for marriage to do. Men should constantly evaluate their priorities and make sure their family is where it should be.
Leadership…In Parental Discipline
Men should take the leadership role in parental discipline. This isn’t abuse or beating. This is providing a sound instruction of right and wrong to our kids. This is teaching common courtesy and manners to our kids and pointing out errors in respect and judgement. This is being a parent and not a best friend. This is making decisions that are best for the kids and not best for his peer pressure.
Leadership…In Essential Decisions
Men should show leadership in the essential decisions. David Platt describes this as, “It’s not that a man is supposed to make every decision for his wife or family, but he will feel the burden for overarching responsibility for decision-making, that his family will look to him for leadership in that way.” Men should work hard to make good, sound decisions for his family even if his decisions are not always popular.
Leadership…is to Honor Women
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. —1 Peter 3:7
Leadership is to honor women. Just as we are not perfect, we can look at Genesis 3:20 and see that Adam honored Eve even after her sin. Men should look to be gracious with their wife. Men should not belittle their wife or constantly remind them of their faults.
Leadership….is Training Boys to be Men
Leadership is showing boys what Godly responsibility, humble initiative, hard-working leadership looks like in action. Leadership is training boys to grow up into men. David Platt goes on to describe this role as, “training boys to provide, to protect, to lead women in loving, gracious, humble, hard-working ways that reflect the character of Christ.”
Woman’s Role: Willing Submission
Applying the foundations of sexuality to women, the first role we see is for woman to incline herself toward wise, willing submission. Once again, a reminder here to emphasize the word “wise” here and not submit in a foolish way. Submission to an abusing man or a man requesting something that is obviously outside of God’s word is not what is being condoned here. David Platt explains this further as “wise and willing submission to God in constant prayer and to men in certain positions.” The latter pertains first and foremost to a woman to her husband and even pertains to a woman with a non-believing husband that should submit to her husband in a way that honors Christ. Additionally, to a woman without a husband in the home, this could also be looked at in the context of a church group where men may help in providing some protection and support to the family. Obviously, this needs to be approached with some caution to maintain those relationships in a healthy light that do not become compromised.
Woman’s Role: Glory of Christ
The second major role for women is to live for the glory of Christ in a way that demonstrates godly respect for men. Ephesians 5 gives a good description for women to respect their husbands. Additionally, when a man provides good, godly, humble male leadership, a woman needs to have a desire to receive his input. Finally, women are to show girls how to be women by teaching them to submit to a man in a Godly way, look for men with character, and help them guard their heart.
Men and Women: Looking Forward
Lastly, as we end this series on the foundations of sexuality, it is important to understand that we are imperfect and we all will struggle to be the man or woman that God has designed us to be. Even so, we can as believers, anticipate a day when our lives will be redeemed and we can be molded into the perfection that we were intended to be. David Platt talks about this in this way, “Therefore, we can look forward to the day when our relationships will be made right with each other as men and women who complement one another, and , together, display the full image of God as male and female. It’s what the Gospel creates. This is the reality; it’s a glorious reality. Jesus didn’t just die to make us the people He created us to be. Jesus died to make us the men and women He created us to be.”