By now, you are probably getting the picture loud and clear. I am going to tell you about a marriage topic that sounds quite easy at face value. I will then tell you to think about how you would logically approach it with your wife. After that, I will pull the rug out from under you and explain how you have been doing it all wrong. I know, I know. Stop with the “Grrrrrr……..If he does this one more time than I am going to…..” These articles have been kind of a big wakeup to me as well. I am almost to the point of thinking about waiting until an issue develops with my wife, developing how my logical brain would have me react, and then do the opposite. I decided to peek in on the other side and, believe it or not, if they took the same approach with responding to their husband they would be right most of the time as well.
I don’t think I am going to try to answer why God would create such an odd model for us to follow, but I think the crutch of it is that as husbands and wives we each need to give of ourselves in a way that expresses our truly devoted commitment to each other for us to flourish to the fullest extent. I also think that however great we might think our marriages are we would be hard pressed to identify our marriages as perfect. I can try my best on any given day to be the best husband I can be and I know that I will fall far from what I would hold as the perfect man of the house. In fact, I would have a hard time giving myself a C+ most of the time.
I hear you, you are saying, “Aren’t you a little harsh on yourself?” I don’t think so. In my mind I think that marriage works best if both sides are able to give enough to form a cool little balancing act.
So here’s the Respected Husband’s Cake Principle of Marriage (aka…A Simple Man’s guide to Marriage): Husbands are like cake (plain, just cake, comes in a box, no eggs need to be added) and wives are like icing (ok…pick your choice, I know it is going to probably be chocolate, but sprinkles are alright); if they work together they make a great dessert (add cool whip or whipped topping if desired). So, even though I can give myself a C+ on a good day and potentially my wife could give herself a B, together we do pretty good.
I believe that God designed us to learn and grow as we go about life’s journey. I think this is pretty much the same story in marriage. The more that we try to better our ability to relate with our spouses, the more our marriages will prosper. Is perfection attainable? I seriously doubt it. Can we improve our marriages from good to great? Absolutely.
So, how would you rate yourself? If you have read some of the posts so far, would you say that they have changed some of your thinking about how to communicate with your wife? Wives, would you say that if your husband “tried” some of the approaches we have discussed would you notice a change in your love for your husband?
So, we have covered reassurance, emotions, and security in the last couple of weeks. Coming up we will discuss how we go about listening to our wives and your wife’s beauty (in general, of course, I am not really going to talk about your wife’s beauty).