Over the last several weeks, we have looked at some of the ways that we can decipher the Wife Code. We have looked at how we can provide our wives the reassurance they need, help them with their emotions, provide them with security, listen and communicate more effectively, and exalt their beauty. As I have stated before, it was a surprise for me when looking at these topics that my initial approach to handling almost all of these was wrong. I would make better choices by just having an immediate, manly, logical thought-process about an issue and then do the opposite.
Is it any wonder that we have problems with our marriages if we can fail so easily trying to do what we think is right? Why should we be respected if we fail so bad providing the love that our spouses most desire? Hopefully, you have seen some of the ways that we can understand how to meet some of our wife’s inner needs through the articles that have been based on For Men Only by Jeff Feldhahn.
The book is based off of a large survey that Jeff and his wife, Shaunti, conducted of a large group of women. The survey consisted of a couple of pages of questions and there was a space at the end of the survey with the question “What’s the most important thing you wish your husband/significant other knew, but feel you haven’t been able to explain in a way he understands?” They had prepared themselves that this would be a space used by the women to vent about the frustrations that they had with their man.
As they began to go through the responses to this question, they were blown away that the number one thing that women wished their man knew was, “You are my hero.” The surprise was that despite how lousy we are at being our best for our wife we really are their life. They admire us, need us, appreciate us, want us to be happy, and are truly grateful for us. They respect us. The survey found that while your wife may not always express it well to you, almost every woman said that they “deeply need, respect, and desire” their husband.
Wow….how good is it to know that despite all of our downfalls our wife still looks at us as her prince? The one she dreamed about when she was a girl who would marry her and live happily ever after.
Knowing that my wife thinks about me this way inspires me. Does it inspire you? If she thinks of me as her hero, can I make the effort to try to show her the love she needs in a way that she needs it? Can I work on providing the reassurance she needs when she has insecurity about my love for her? Can I help her to work through her emotional security blankets? Can I help her get some relief by helping her close those windows that she cannot close? Can I try to listen to her feelings instead of fixing her problem? Can I reflect an image of how beautiful I see my wife by being her most important mirror?
It is easy to think that we should not have any hiccups in this marriage thing. I have been married for almost 18 years and I feel like I am just beginning to start to learn. We are going to fail a lot and make plenty of mistakes along this path. Let’s make the effort to try to be a better husband to our wife. She believes in you. Let’s be responsible with that trust and be the best for them.