As I have been working on these articles on leadership, I am finding that getting a hold on this topic is tough. Even tougher is being a Godly husband. Being a good husband is almost impossible without understanding God’s structure for marriage and the principles that govern it. Today we are going to talk about our role as the headship to our wives.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5: 22-24

Let’s take a closer look at biblical headship.

  1. Husbands are to love their wives, not to command or rule them.

    The Bible only tells us to love our wives as Christ loves the church. There is no mention for a husband to force or dictate submission from his wife. Wives are told to submit to their husbands as they do unto the Lord. The Bible goes so far as to say:

    Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Colossians 3:19

  2. Headship is not portrayed as a means for self-satisfaction or self-exaltation.

    Headship is always portrayed as an act that looks after your wife and family. It is never portrayed as a chance to look out for number 1. It is a responsibility that God has placed on us as husbands that require us to lovingly lead our families without using the power for our own gain.

  3. Headship is not the power of a superior over an inferior.

    It is human nature to distort the nature of a wife being submissive as being inferior to the husband. Husbands have used headship in this manner many times, but it is to be denounced. Husbands do have the final decision making ability, but to say they are superior is a mistake. Even if husbands abuse their roles as the headship of the family there is nothing that indicates that husbands are to abandon that role. The husband should strive to redeem himself and purify his leadership in a way that honors God and his spouse.

  4. Headship does not involve issuing commands or making every decision in the home.

    We are going to look more at this aspect in the next post, but basically some husbands have assumed that it takes away from their authority for their wives to take the initiative in home matters. This is probably more out of fear in their home that they are worthy to be followed.

True biblical headship is a responsibility that God has given husbands to be a loving servant to their family in the same manner as Christ has loved and cared for us. God did not put the husband in charge because he was smarter or better than his wife. God assigned the man the leadership role because He designed him to be physically and emotionally capable of handling the responsibility and to love to his wife. God designed the woman to be the physical and emotional complement to the man and to respond to his leadership with love and respect.